I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
