So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize