He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
