I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
