ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
