also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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