Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
