I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
