does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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