I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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