god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize