Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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