Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Randomize
