Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i think im in europe. pls send help
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
