i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm at about main and main street
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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