so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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