This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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