It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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