Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Randomize
