Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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