I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
