I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
