4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
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