My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
