can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
