Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
