What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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