Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
