Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
