I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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