The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
