had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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