I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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