if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
