when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
