I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It's just like the Real World with babies
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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