It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
