just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i now understand why vodka
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
