Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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