you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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