I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
