i think i have two assholes
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize