Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
