I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
