she smelled like a LAN party
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize