K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
