idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
