...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
