his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
