Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
