Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
