I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
