Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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