I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
