I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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