oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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