just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
