I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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